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Brawl For Fall Started by: Sniffler on Oct 25, '23 18:07

Rupert reached in to his coat and pulled out the book he was currently reading. In response to Ginger's first question, he eyed up Spiral with a distasteful look and ripped the book in half. He then tore out fifteen pages and chewed upon them for a moment before spitting them at the feet of Spiral.

"That's how I'm feeling about this fight Ginger, I'm going to wipe the floor with this clown! My motivation stems from too many 2AM calls letting me know that Spiral had been seen graffiting my name on many coffee shop walls. Really it's all I've needed to stay motivated."

Rupert thought about the next question as he slowly cleaned his glasses. He wasn't compulsive about it but boy Rupert sure did enjoy a sparkling clean set of specs. He certainly didn't distract Professor from time to time solely for the purpose of stealing/cleaning his glasses. 

"I think I'd have to say their ability to distract, it could potentially be disastrous. That having been said... Simply being aware of it could in fact be a saving grace."

"It is personal, this much is undeniable. Our lines have known one anothers for over fifteen years. We've had our ups and downs... But despite having always considered them friends, my ancestors had been quoted saying that they 'liked Spiral's lineage, but didn't trust them'. I'm glad to say that this much is no longer true. Spiral and I are like thrice-removed brothers; it will not however effect the level of brutality that I intend on bringing to this fight."

Just as Rupert finished up, Spiral had slapped him with a chair. Rupert walked out of the conference immediately, mumbling "you fuck!" 

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Georgette finds herself at a loss amongst the people, and ducking away from the crowds ends up in a nearly empty room. Giving a wave to Ginger the small woman moves to go say hello and perhaps share a cookie, but is instantly distracted.

"Oh, free chair!"

 Georgette says before picking up the chair, blowing Ginger a kiss and walking off with her new requisition. 

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Match 6. Spicy Vs Nicklin


Nicklin had always enjoyed all things spicy until this draw had been made. He had become hot and flustered under the collar which was a welcome surprise as it was a little chilly outside. One thing for sure though was that Nicklin was going to pour icy water over this little spicy devil and kick her into touch. This bitch can't continue to be calm and fabulous when the big dog is around.

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You're on in 3, 2...

Hello fight fans, Transistor here with Brawl for Fall. I'm sure you all simply cannot wait for the upcoming fights this week and with a little convincing I was able to bring you, the masses, an EXCLUSIVE interview with both Georgette and MrChaChaSlide ahead of their much anticipated bout.

First we caught up with Georgette outside of the local boxing gym, and she was gracious with her time. Have a listen.





There's been some chatter surrounding your first round bye and the likelihood that MrChaChaSlide having more recent experience in the ring has the odds in his favor for this fight. Any comment on that?

No comment was given regarding the first round bye and whether or not it would be an advantage for Georgette or MrChaChaSlide.


One more quick question, MrChaChaSlide in his last bout really leaned on the ability to let his opponent (me) tire himself out towards the beginning of the fight and waited to strike. Have there been discussions in your corner about this strategy and how to use that to your advantage in the upcoming fight?

"While I do feel that MrChaChaSlide is a worthy opponent, and has had many a scrap in his lifetime, I feel the true place he'll shine is where he does most of his business dealings, on his knees.

I haven't considered a strategy, I wasn't even aware I was fighting MrChaChaSlide. I suppose the natural action is to let the poor dear tire himself out by sliding to the left, sliding to the right, and then whilst he's in the middle of the criss-cross, punch him in the face as hard as I can."


Unprompted, appearing fired up, Georgette continued

"Shan't be too hard, I have seen many-a-fight back home, and whilst I've not partaken, I do know that if my punches don't stop a man, verbally, I can certainly destroy him. And not to be presumptuous, but I daresay that MrChaChaSlide would agree that in terms of emotional devastation, I'm probably one of the few who can touch a nerve. And then once he's crying, on his knees (where god intended him to be, serving man) I'll punch him again. Truly, hell hath no fury like a small, angry, woman; who was forced into participating in pugalistic pantomimes."



Awkwardly Transistor fumbles with the microphone

My goodness ladies and gentlemen, that Georgette is a fierce and fiery opponent, but we can't help but love her am I right?

The audience cheers.

After some back and forth with MrChaChaSlide and his people, we were able to secure an interview with him as well. Already with one win under his belt, the returning fighter too had some choice words for his opponent, and oddly enough a few for yours truly as well. Let's hear it.





Any thoughts on Georgette's bye into the second round? Do you think your recent experience against yours truly will help you keep your composure in the fight? You've been in the ring recently, do you think that gives you the edge?

"In my opinion fighting you was same thing as a bye. Cause like I broke you so bad someone had to replace the transistor."


The casinos have been reporting you've been active with the dice this week. Is the newfound success and money going to your head? What is your training regimen like for the upcoming bout?

"New found wealth? Homie, broke or rich I still am better than everyone."


Georgette had some choice words for you, anything you'd like to say to her?

"I'm just gonna treat her like she does her co-workers. With nothing but hatred and distain (sic) all while wishing someone called in a bomb threat so I can not speak to them the rest of the day."



Transistor pulls on his shirt collar and clears his throat.

I hope he knows he's not fighting me anymore, am I right?

The audience chuckles.

Well there you have it folks. This one will be one for the record books. We have our favorites, do you have yours? Make sure you tune in this week to see the thrilling conclusion. Thanks for joining us at Brawl for Fall!

Theme music begins to play.

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Spicy bruises hadn’t even finished healing before she was back in the gym training for her next fight.  When this was over she didn’t want to see the inside of a ring ever again.

She arrived at the gym and headed to the office to talk with Dollar her trainer.  Just before entering the office she overheard Dollar’s conversation with another trainer and stopped to eavesdrop.

Spicy did well in her fight.  Although I think that dude BlueEyes took it a little easy on her even though he gave her a few good shots.

But this motherfucker she’s about to fight ain’t no joke. This Nicklin is a big horrible man who only washes on a Friday evening and he loves doing naked handstand walks in public.

Man, I saw him enter the ring for his fight accompanied by some scantily clad women dressed as pigs; he was dressed in a striking red robe with the hood up and carrying a little basket. His opponent was his crewmate and he had no mercy. He was throwing punches at him like he had fucked his wife or something. 

Both men laughed which pissed Spicy off and she stormed into the office.

So you guys think it’s funny I’m going to get my ass kicked.

Well, he is going to find out this fabulous bitch isn’t one of his little piglets.  Win or lose this guy will be taking a bloody bath on Tuesday.

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Sniffler smiled as he listened to Transistors report. He also smiled when Spiral hit Rupert with a chair. He did not smile when Georgette stole the chair. Chairs were expensive. He had to beg Harvey to increase his pocket money so he could replace the chair. But such was the stress of running a boxing competition. 

"I hope you are all enjoying our pre fight reports. There should be more to come to get your blood pumping and increase the hype for round 2 which is due to start tomorrow. Thank you all for your continued and ongoing support. See you all very soon. Sniffler out"

Sniffler went to back GOAT HQ to finalise the plans for the coming days

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aethersix sat under his large oak desk. His tie loosened, his collar undone, and his notebook lay beside him. He listened as Sniffler banged on his office door.

aethersix, I know you are in there. Where is my piece? You promised me a piece.

Sniffler sighed. aethersix listened carefully to as he heard the anteater wander off down the corridor. aethersix looked at his notebook. 6 hours, 15 telephone calls, a bottle of scotch, a half-eaten bagel, and several nervous breakdowns later, what did he have to show for it? Nothing. These bastards wouldn’t talk to him. He rubbed his temples. And now to top it all off he had this bloody anteater hounding him. Who knew anteaters could be so picky about deadlines?

aethersix sighed

Look at me I'm Professor and I'm too busy to answer my own LHMs questions.

aethersix said in his best impression of Professor

Look at me I'm a fancy pants Godfather and I need 7 naps a day.

aethersix chuckled at his impression. Hey, that’s not bad he thought to himself. He looked at the tape recorder sitting beside him under the desk. Now either there was a gas leak in the building, or he was a genius. A plan began to form in his head.

He picked up the tape recorder and pressed play. He knocked on the desk and gave his best impression of a door opening. He then began to speak into the tape recorder.

Good afternoon, Professor! It is I aethersix. Your trusted left-hand man and least important member. I have been sent by that pesky anteater to conduct an interview. Can you share your thoughts and what possessed you to step into the ring at this point in your life?

He cleared his throat and began his impression.

Oh aethersix, there you are. What a terrible member you are. You are much worse than RupertGiles. You also have way worse hair and smell awful.

"Too much" he thought. I better get back on track.

To answer your query, Well, I am not getting any younger. It's July, right? Let's wait three months and go to Oktoberfest, maybe then I will be ready for Craven. As I said in my introductory speech; boxing is a young man's game and they always say to look out for the old man in a young man's profession. With my innovative science, uh, I mean muscles, nobody will be able to beat me.

He smirked. He was good at this. He continued to interview himself under the desk. He liked it under the desk. It was warm and there was no anteaters.

Ah I see, well. I understand you’re a world renowned scientist. Have you been preparing for this match both mentally and physically, and are there any unconventional training methods you've employed?

Indeed. I've been stimulating my brain with daily crossword puzzles and word searches, and taking plenty of naps to regenerate my strength, of course. As for physical preparation, I've been lifting beakers and test tubes regularly since the start of the event. Oooo that Craven, whoever he is, won’t know what hit him.

That is quite the, uh, unique approach! You won the first round, so who am I to argue? Do you have any specific moves up your sleeve? What will your strategy be?

Professor scoffed:

Whaaa?! Wouldn’t you like to know, reporter man.

I would! But I understand why you’d like to keep that a secret. Moving on then! Many people are shocked to see a scientist stepping into the ring, especially one of your age and build. What message do you hope to give to senile old scientists all over the world by taking on this physical challenge?

The message is this: Never underestimate the power of an aged scientist with an insatiable hunger for success, a Flabo Dynamic Suit, and a time button, (just in case I lose the first time.) - I fear I’ve said too much.

This was golden. He pressed pause on the tape recorder and wrote up some supplementary notes.

Okay onto Craven. He watched the recording of @Cravens commentary and began to get a feel for the voice. No time like the present he thought to himself.

He repeats the desk-knocking trick.

Hello, what can I help you with?

Greetings sir. I’m here as a reluctant volunteer interviewer for Sniffler’s Brawl for Fall event currently underway. May I come in?

He pats his hands on the ground to make the noise of someone walking it. He accidentally bangs his head of the desk.

Ouch. Sorry I ehh, stubbed my toe on this definitely very real statue of a dog. Anyway thank you, it’s cold out there today. So how are you feeling ahead of your first fight? Do you think not fighting in round 1 aids you?

I feel fantastic. I've never fought in any event like this before. I have been training though, it's really paid off, and I'm ready to go! I definitely feel fresher than that old fart Professor.

In the upcoming round, you're going to be facing the infamous Professor. He's known for his strategic mind and has a penchant for wandering off. How do you plan to approach this match?

Facing Professor is a unique challenge, no doubt. I've studied his fight in round one hundreds of times, and I know all of his moves but found no patterns, he’s so talented that he makes it look like he’s just a doddering old fool. I will just try to stay one step ahead of him and hope for the best. It's going to be a mental chess game in the ring, for sure.

aethersix began to run out of witty and interesting things to say. So, he thought he would bring things to a close.

I’m terribly sorry for springing this on you last minute, Sniffler, the sponsor of the event just gave me this task an hour ago. He most certainly didn’t tell me days ago and I didn’t waste most of my time playing Xs and Os with a parrot. It needs it done by tonight. I will make it quick. Do you have a message for your fans who are eagerly anticipating the upcoming fight?

I don't imagine I have any fans, as I've never fought in the ring before. The only message I have for anyone listening is, get ready for an interesting match, I'm going to give it my all and hope for the best. Also you seem like a very interesting chap and that anteater sounds like quite the pain.

There you have it, folks! Craven is ready to face the Professor in what promises to be a thrilling showdown in round two, and if victorious, hopefully changing the definition of the word, “craven,” entirely.

He turned off the tape recorder delighted with his last line. He wrote some additional notes in his notebook. He climbed out from under the table with a new sense of hope. He called for goat mail to deliver the final product to Sniffler.

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Svent arrived early at the arena, feeling restless. He wanted to get a few good punches in on a punching bag and spar with a few of the noncompetitors until the fight started. Once it did, he had his eye on a good seat to observe the fights before he needed to go and prepare himself for his own fight.

The punches he threw in practice were more reserved, despite being restless. He wanted to save his energy for the actual fight after all.

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With the boxing competition in full swing, Sniffer thought it was time to talk to some of the audience attending the fights. He spotted a man who he knew was vocal in the streets. Sniffler strode over confidently and shook the mans hand. 


"Sonny, good to see you. How are you doing? Thank you for taking the time to join us. What do you think of the place?"

Sniffler gestured to the stadium.

"A nice place for a bit of violence dont you think? You didnt fancy boxing yourself then? Didnt wanna ruin that good looking face of yours I'm guessing"


Sniffler patted Sonny on the shoulder playfully. 

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Sonny turned to the stadium taking in its sights smiling to himself, "Nice place you've got here. Looks fit for a Roman gladiatorial battle if you ask me."


"I'm too old to be boxing your prized fighters. If you fancy putting together an OAP boxing ring count me in," Sonny walked over to a nearby boxing bag and started practicing three jab combos. His ageing body in constant motion as he kept his form fluid, switching between combination of jabs and hooks, throwing in the odd haymaker. 

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Sniffler watched Sonny work the bag. It was impressive. He didnt just move well for an older guy. He moved well of any guy. 

"Jeez Sonny, You could give any of these guys a beating. Maybe next time."

Sniffler patted his brow with his silk BBB handkerchief. 

"So tell me Sonny, What do you think of the competition so far? Did you attend round 1?"

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Sonny turned from the bag dripping with sweat, reaching into his trouser pockets he asked Sniffer if he minded him having a smoke. 


"I've been watching from afar, I'd love to be more involved but the fucking FBN is hot on my tail, been trying to make sure those nosey bastards stay out of Las Vegas's business," Sonny responded while lighting himself a smoke. 

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Sniffler nodded at Sonnys request to smoke. As an anteater, he didnt smoke but who was he to deny anyone's request to indulge. 

"Ahh I understand well hopefully they back off a bit. Glad you were able to make it here today. Have you enjoyed the competition so far? Who has been your favourite fighter so far?"

Sniffler waved to some new spectators entering the arena.  

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"I'd have to say my old right hand man BigEasy, its amazing what he can do with one arm," Vito wasn't sure if the fighters had noticed BigEasy's gammy arm, but continued, "With the way he beat up Yaveo when he has a gammy arm amazing really. I'd back the man all the way to the end," Sonny stated his eyes twinkling with pride for the achievements of his trusted friend. 

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Sniffler nodded in agreement. 

"Yes he has had a great showing so far. I wish him the best of luck in the next round. I'm glad you were able to make it to support him."

Sniffler noticed some of his guest commentators entering the stadium. 

"What have you thought of our guest commentators so far? Do you have a favourite commentator so far? I will remove myself from the discussion. For fear of embarrassment if you didnt pick me."

Sniffler chuckled to himself. 

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Sonny took a moment to think, there was a great deal of choice to pick from and he had to think hard before answering, "They're all great, but I'd have to go with RupertGiles. The man really knows how to sell a fight, impressive stuff."


"You know, I'd be more than up to the task should you need any more commentators," Sonny continued having loved the sport of boxing ever since he was a boy growing up on the rough streets of New York City. 

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Sniffler pulled out his BBB notebook and wrote down Sonnys name carefully.

"There we go I have added you to the list. We are always looking for more commentators. It would be great to have you involved. I only have one more question for you and I will let you take your seat. Obviously you are looking forward to BigEasys fight. What other fight are you most looking forward to tonight?"

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Sonny thought about his response, he didn't want to reveal to Sniffler that he'd seen and fought a lot of the men in his own Las Vegas fight club, rechecking the list he noticed a name he had never fought or seen fight before.


"I'm looking forward to seeing someone give Nicklin a good beating," Sonny responded drawing a laugh from Sniffler. 

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Sniffler chuckled. 

"Thank you for your time Sonny, much appreciated. Enjoy the fight and see you around"

Sniffler offered out his paw for a handshake. 

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Sonny took the offered paw and shook it before taking his seat for the nights entertainment. He was looking forward to celebrating with old friends deep into the night, with a whisky in one hand, a Cuban cigar between his teeth and a beautiful woman around his arm. 

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