Apr 29 - 19:50:02 |
|
Post Reply | Post new topic | Page: [ <<< - << - < ] … 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 … [ > - >> - >>> ] |
Best Worst Joke | Started by: ChibiMoon on Nov 13, '20 12:17 |
Here's a dirty bad one. Two white horses fell in a puddle of mudd. |
|
Reply by: Felix at Jul 12, '21 00:04 | |
Report Post | Tip |
During an impassioned sermon about death and final judgement, the pastor said forcefully, "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement." Glancing down at the front pew, he noticed a man with a big smile on his face. The minister repeated his point louder. "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!" The man nodded and smiled even more. This really got the preacher wound up. He pounded the pulpit emphatically when he came to the ultimatum: "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!!!" Though everyone else in the congregation was looking somber, the man in front continued to smile. Finally the preacher stepped off the platform, stood in front of the man and shouted, "I said each member of this church is going to die!" The man grinned from ear to ear. After the service was over, the preacher made a beeline for the man. "I don't get it," the preacher said in frustration. "Whenever I said, 'Each member of this church is going to die,' your smile got bigger. Why?" "I'm not a member of this church," the man replied. |
|
Reply by: WaterLilly at Jul 12, '21 00:16 | |
Report Post | Tip |
A well thought out post.......a legume walks into a clothing store and asks if they carry ca-shoes | |
Reply by: gameR_playeR at Jul 12, '21 15:38 | |
Report Post | Tip |
lmao very good best/worst jokes :D so let's add a silly one! A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …” |
|
Reply by: Paradise at Jul 13, '21 00:11 | |
Report Post | Tips: 1 / Total: $20,000 Tip |
Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally? Ever wonder why? |
|
Reply by: Massimo at Jul 13, '21 02:29 | |
Report Post | Tips: 1 / Total: $20,000 Tip |
|
|||
Reply by: BobTheCanuck at Jul 13, '21 22:43 | |||
Report Post | Tip |
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener. Kek. |
|
Reply by: Brutus at Jul 13, '21 23:18 | |
Report Post | Tips: 1 / Total: $20,000 Tip |
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop.'
Classic, that one. |
|
Reply by: Albino at Jul 14, '21 00:19 | |
Report Post | Tip |
One day, 3 men died and went to heaven. "Religion?" God's secretary asked the first man. |
|
Reply by: Lucky at Jul 15, '21 00:05 | |
Report Post | Tip |
Two muffins sitting in an oven. One turns to the other n says, "Wow, it's pretty hot in here." The other one says, "Wow, a talking muffin!" |
|
Reply by: Albino at Jul 15, '21 00:18 | |
Report Post | Tip |
I want to apologize in advance. |
|
Reply by: Ogie_Oglethorpe at Jul 15, '21 01:15 | |
Report Post | Tip |
A blonde and a brunette worked in a factory. The brunette says, "I know how to get some time off from work!" "How?" asks the blonde. "Watch this," says the brunette. She climbs up to the rafter and hangs upside down. The boss walks in, sees her and says, "What on earth are you doing?" "I'm a light bulb," she answers. "I think you need some time off," says the boss so she jumps down and walks out. The blonde starts walking out, too. "Where are YOU going?" says the boss. The blonde replies, "I can't work in the dark!" |
|
Reply by: Bayer at Jul 15, '21 01:52 | |
Report Post | Tips: 1 / Total: $117,137 Tip |
More naughty jokes. An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream." |
|
Reply by: Laura at Jul 16, '21 00:29 | |
Report Post | Tips: 1 / Total: $20,000 Tip |
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb. He just can't part with it. |
|
Reply by: Touch_Of_Evil at Jul 16, '21 00:30 | |
Report Post | Tip |
A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints." |
|
Reply by: Ogie_Oglethorpe at Jul 16, '21 00:33 | |
Report Post | Tips: 1 / Total: $20,000 Tip |
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. |
|
Reply by: TonySantarelli at Jul 16, '21 08:17 | |
Report Post | Tip |
I went to the doctor yesterday, she said "do you want the good news or the bad news first?" I said "good news" She replied "we're naming a disease after you" |
|
Reply by: Eggs_Benedict at Jul 16, '21 09:03 | |
Report Post | Tip |
1. There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. (…Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke.) 2. What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics! 3. Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere. 4. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved. 5. Do you want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I’m still working on it. |
|
Reply by: WaterLilly at Jul 17, '21 00:27 | |
Report Post | Tip |
A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried. Next morning,not only is the rooster screwing the hens but he is screwing the turkeys,ducks even the cow. Later farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead. The farmer runs out, looks down at the young roosters limp body and says: "You deserved it, you horny bastard!" And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, Shhhh!,they are about to land." |
|
Reply by: Laura at Jul 17, '21 00:39 | |
Report Post | Tip |
Sometimes we take life for granted but i gaurantee you this granola bar sucks big grotesque 🏀 | |
Reply by: gameR_playeR at Jul 17, '21 02:05 | |
Report Post | Tip |
Post Reply | View All Threads | Page: [ <<< - << - < ] … 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 … [ > - >> - >>> ] |
Minimum $20,000