"Did you hear the rumour about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"

lol its really really bad but somewhat appropriate 

I concur with MezzainE, I am still enjoying seeing new jokes come through, and seeing some popular repeats! We all need a good chuckle every now and then.

On that note, here's another (haha...butts):

A group of butts are walking down the street, but the smallest one struggles to keep up.

He says to the group, "Sorry, I'm a little behind!"

Viking warrior Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll.

Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said: "We should hurry up, there is a storm coming".

So his wife asked: "How do you know?"

And he replied... "Rudolph the red knows rain dear.”

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

"How do you get a squirrel to like you?"

Act like a nut.

I'm thinking of opening a bar where everyone insults everyone else while moving to the music...

I think my idea of social diss dancing would go over well!

I've seen this before, it's an oldie but still funny lol

Before Marriage:

Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait.
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
Boy: No don't even think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will.
Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?
Boy: Never. Why are you even asking?
Girl: Will you kiss me?
Boy: Every chance I get.
Girl: Will you hit me?
Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy?
Girl: Can I trust you?
Boy: Yes.
Girl: Darling!

After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?

Their age.

Happy Thanksgiving!

i was get high on coke and weed every on get high, then had kill 5 rats that trun rat like bitch, then no one whet jail

**EyeRoll**  Lots of dumb ones out there. LOL

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he gets a hole in one!

What do you call somebody with no nose and no body? 

Nobody knows.

Sitting at Thanksgiving dinner, my husband looks over at everyone and says:

”Wanna see me turn this plastic fork into a metal fork?” 

There is a three-second pause as everyone looks at each other, bracing for whatever lame joke is about to happen. 

Hubby holds up his fork, breaks off the middle two prongs and waves it like the ‘rock on’ hand. 

“See. ‘Metal’ fork.” 

I literally choked on my cranberry sauce. 

When did my husband become a dad-joke? We don’t even have kids! 

I still hate my father for telling me this one and hate myself even more for walking right into it...

"What do you give to a sick lemon?"
"Lemon aid!"

*facepalms*

My favorite joke would have to be a quote i say all the time.

I See...

Said The Blind Man

Btw he's blind bcause i took his eyes.

i took his eye's because he saw something he wasn't supposed to see.

this way he can never see something he's not supposed to see again

I like jokes that play on words like this one. 

Q : What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

A :One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.