Who would win a chess game between Osama bin Laden and George Bush?
Osama would?
Why? do you ask?
Because George Bush is missing two towers.

What does the cow say to the pig when it wants the pig to move? Moooooove

A plane flying over the boundary between North Dakota and South Dakota crashes. Where do you buy the survivors?

Unless they are the walking dead, you probably don't want to bury those survivors. 

...some jokes seem to go on and on, clearly building up to something (you hope). The best worst ones will make you groan. Such is this one, sorry in advance lol

He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.
 

Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed.
 

Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas.
 

"You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.

...wait for it... wait for it...

The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."

I warned ya! :P

Okay so I got one that I really like lol

What's the difference between a cowboy and a ninja?

One goes "Yee-haw!" and the other goes "Hee-yaw!"

This one comes via a Dad Jokes account I follow on Instagram (have to give credit where credit is due!) and it made me chuckle a little.

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius...

But very few people know his brother Frank was a monster.

My wife emailed me pictures of our wedding, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

A babe shooks her boobs and when a older gentleman starts to lick his lips right in front of her and are about to say something the girls left boob suddenly explodes like a baloon and the old man got blood and stuff in his face, he thanks the girl for the good time he got.

A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says to the receptionist I think I'm a Type O.

(\__/)
(•ㅅ•)  
/ 　 づ 

Classic and terrible...

A Horse goes in to a bar and the bartender asks;

"Why the long face?"

Worst joke ?

ATTACK of the killer tomatos !!!!!

There are two muffins sitting in an oven.

One muffin says to the other muffin: "Boy, it's hot in here."

The second muffin screams: "AAAAAHHHHHHHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

I got a really terrible one, maybe someone will get a laugh from it.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Doorbells not working

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side 

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

During a routine physical, a doctor told their patient to stop masturbating.  Perplexed, the patient asked "why?" The doctor replied "Because I'm trying to give you a physical."