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Best Worst Joke Started by: ChibiMoon on Nov 13, '20 12:17

How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.

Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot

 

These are pretty damn terrible.

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A guy is driving down the road and sees a sign "Talking dog $50" so the guy goes in to check it out. He goes to see them and the dog says he was in the alps saving skiers for years, then he was a war dog and lost his owner overseas. The guy asks the seller, "Are you crazy you're selling a talking dog for $50?" The seller goes, "Yeah but he's a liar, he didn't do any of those things."

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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

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if at first you don't succeed,  skydiving is not for you

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A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

"Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!" The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: "It’s not a lion.. It’s a giraffe."

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I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.

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A horse walks into a bar - the bar man rushes with a broom, hissing and shoo'ing the horse back out of the bar - yet it's power of this strong, generous beast over-comes him - the bar man puts down the broom, embraces the horse and then they sit down, face to face and wait for all this to blow over

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damn great jokes guys..

"Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize."

 

"Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!"

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The other day I was listening to a song about superglue, it’s been stuck in my head ever since.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

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Why did the cowboy have a weiner dog? Somebody told him to get a long little doggy.
Why are oranges the smartest fruit? Because they are made to concentrate.
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- Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

- So, when they return to port, they can... Scandanavian.

I'm not even sorry for how bad this one is. Not even a little.

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What do you get when you mix a fly, car, and a pet?

 

A flying carpet.

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Why did two 4s skip dinner?


Because they already 8

lol
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Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse, wouldn’t quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out...... Thats one dirty butter with a dead mouse in it i wouldnt wanna eat unless i got a death wish
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How do you catch a polar bear?

First thing you do is go up in the middle of the ice. Then you cut a big circle. At the edge of the circle put peas.! so when the polar bear comes out to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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Two dining plates went out on a date. 

What did the one say to the other?

"Dinners on me!"

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What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A Carrot

Climax this one's for you bruh
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How do you organize a space party? You planet.

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom!

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Have you heard of the man who could take a bath and dive around without getting his hear wet?

He was bald.

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 a guy approaches a woman in a bar and asks here if she likes to have a good time

She replies "sure your place or mine?"

He answers "if you are gonna argue about it, forget it!

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