Monday, Monday!!    Not too bad.   Worked with a friend that is not overly ambitious so did most the work.  Good thing she is likable though.  

Dear Diary,

Please send clothes to all the ladies in Daddy's magazines. 

Thanks

Miles

Dear diary,

When will life give me a break and give me a girl that doesn't act like everything is inferior to her? Also, while you're at it, can you make sure that she doesn't smoke?!?!

I'm getting desperate lol,

Howdy

Dear Diary,

Today is Saturday.  I should still be sleeping.  Nope, I am up and preparing to head off to work.  The only good thing about working today is, the paycheck will be nice with the added OT.

Have a great day....

dear reader,

yesterday suddenly when I woke up I found my mobile screen is dead, I was surprised and didn't know what to do, I was planning to get a new one in few months, but had to buy a cheap one before few hours..

things just go in a strange way.

Getting excited off on 5 day canoe camping trip down the river spay in Scotland its going to be a lot of fun running the rapids and sleeping on islands. campfire beer and rations packs my wife thinks I'm mad.

Dear Diary,

I really have nothing to talk about today, but the Hustle lords say I must do a little chatting to get thru the daily hustle.
So, gee........ Let's see......... What to talk about?
The weather has broke again and it in the mid 50's.  That is a plus and hopefully we are on the upward trend of the warmer temps.

Til the next time ;) 

Dear Diary,

What a week it's been!

Supposed to have been straight forward well planned etc, but ....

Tues, Wife goes in for c-section been planned for a while due to risks for her to give natural birth.

Baby gets pulled out and one of the midwifes spot something wrong and rush him to NICU, he has breathing issues!

Been there since, ive been there from dawn till after dusk hearing all the beeps and flashes from the monitoring machines, and cries from not only my child but others, and watching all the sisters, nurses, doctors etc rush around him taking notes giving drips and anti-biotics etc.

I am yet to have more than 45 mins sleep.....

Dear Diary,

Today i feel like im just a spare part to a machine that doesnt even want to recognise me.

Day 5 of my new born being in NICU and all im doing is changing his nappy and sometimes allowed to feed him depending how they keep changed how and how often they feed him.

I get up shower, eat and go to the hospital, try to make the wife feel better (mising our eldest and having baby blues), get updates on my son etc till they chuck me out near 9pm, I then head home wash his and her clothes, have dinner then bed.

My opinion on his care etc gets ignored, when they ask what his first name is i tell them, then they say no im asking the mum!! Why not me? im the one that came up with him his name, the wife agreed. Im his father, husband to my wife, yet what i say or think does not matter, for i am MALE. I can do nothing i am for all intensive purpose, worthless

I cant see my eldest son while this is ongoing as he is staying with the in-laws untill they return home, to avoid him feeling abandoned time and time again, which i get, but i miss him. 

Each night i return to an empty home, stay up late so i can wash clothes, then struggle to sleep with everything spinning in my mind in a vicious circle working up my anxiety.

Since the wife went in for the planned c-section ive have a total of 2 hours sleep at best. 

All i want is for my family to be home, happy and healthy. 

But what happens in the meantime?

Dear diary,

i'm sick. I don't know if its COVID or a really evil cold, i wasnt tested. But i'm feeling like shit this past couple days. Today i woke up feeling hungry and all sweaty (eww). So i think i may be getting better.. lets see how it goes.

Love, 

Roya

Dear Diary, 

There is not enough coffee in the world to prevent me from spreading hurt feelings and chaos today. Please let the universe look out for those within my path of fury. I've become some form of permanently exhausted pigeon and I refuse to shapeshift back into a human resemblance until I am situated on a beach, sipping margaritas in the sunshine instead of being stuck in this perpetually overcast weather that is March. 

Dear Diary,

It's been a very long week at work this week.  It's not been a bad week, but just very tiring and long.  Thankfully, tomorrow is Friday and I will be off the weekend.  Next week only working 3 days.  Looking forward to that.  

Dear Diary

Work sucked today as I had to walk  the big hall gathering dishes and mugs from the morning rush at a conference centre. By the end of the shift I was so damn exhausted 

Dear Diary,

It's been awhile but here I am about to whine a lil bit.  
I've been off work for 5 glorious days.  Got some things done, did a little of nothing at times, just took care of me, myself and I.  I totally loved it.  Now the dilemma of have to return to work tomorrow.  I don't wanna.  I could very well learn to be a stay at home, do whatever the frick I wanna do, kinda gal.    I doubt that would last long. Funds would run low, so I guess I will put my happy butt to bed on time and go to work. And try to not whine and enjoy the day. ;) 

Bye Bye!