Dear diary

Today I might have been bad. Was walking my dog through the town and past a young child.  The child started crying after we had past, looking down at my dog I realised why. She had helped herself to the child's ice cream. We walked away pretty quickly without looking back.

Oh well tomorrow is another day and I now know not to walk in the town for a little while.

lock down.

Dear Diary,

it is hotter chack on rebate day

Dear diary, I love getting some free time on the weekends, and I always end up using it not how I planned. Not sure if I can call that wasting time, but must be damn close.

Dear Diary,

Today I listened to that song Stan by Eminem after many years since the last time. As soon as I saw this thread it reminded me of that song so I decided to try that same rhythm while at the same time writing something for this diary thread. Here goes a song for you, diary.  

Years ago, a Tuesday night

Right here where we are

Until that day life was so simple

Like I’ve seen it all

Even if I knew, it’s all the same

You would make sure that I'd fall

Might seem like it but it’s not so bad

It’s not so bad.

...

Dear Diary

I wrote you but you can’t reply to me

Guess I can tell you things that I could’ve never told nobody

I’ve been through hell and back and all but feels like I reside there

I’m probably the problem or people are always so confident

Sometimes I need a distraction to survive with what’s in my head

But anyway, fuck it, what’s been up since I last saw ya?

The world’s a mess now too and I still think about her

If I had been smarter, I wouldn’t have talked to her

And she would mean nothing.

I met a nice girl from my country, she was modeling

I had her and she had me but I left her ‘cause my heart is

So hurt from mistreatment and afraid

Yet I still think of when

I came and found her in this place

And I’ve been here since

I was consumed, full of emotions and even leaving friends

That time she said she cared for no one, ooh, that hit me bad

Anyway, I hope you get this and

Think of that or just forget

Truly yours

Your dearest friend

This is him.

...

Years ago, a Tuesday night

Right here where we are

Until that day life was so simple

Like I’ve seen it all

Even if I knew, it’s all the same

You would make sure that I’d fall

Might seem like it but it’s not so bad

It’s not so bad.

Lena: Why did my husband volunteer for a suicide mission?

Dr Ventress: Is that what you think we're doing? Committing suicide?

Lena: You must have profiled him. You must have assessed him. He must have said something.

Dr Ventress: So you're asking me as a psychologist?

Lena: Yeah.

Dr Ventress: Then, as a psychologist, I think you're confusing suicide with self-destruction. Almost none of us commit suicide, and almost all of us self-destruct. In some way, in some part of our lives. We drink, or we smoke, we destabilize the good job... and a happy marriage. But these aren't decisions, they're... they're impulses. In fact, you're probably better equipped to explain this than I am.

Lena: What does that mean?

Dr Ventress: You're a biologist. Isn't the self-destruction coded into us? Programmed into each cell?

Dear diary, the time is coming. Madness and darkness are consuming me. I dont feel human and i dont recognize myself in the mirror anymore. Im counting the days to receive my paycheck so i can finally get some well deserved peace. Oblivion is all i yearn for. Although i wish Middy is waiting for me somewhere... i know only eternal darkness awaits. I pray for all to end soon. The only reason im writing this here is so that is forever remembered. The end is nigh

Dear diary.... Today I went fishing and didn't catch anything... I don't know if it just wasn't a good day to be fishing or if I was using the wrong bait (squid). I pray for better fishing days. Hopefully the next time I go is more eventful!

Dear diary

Another shifty week in work as none of the machines working and food weighing to heavy or light. Hell my feet and back hurts and no having the weekend off 

Dear Diary, 

Work has decided that as a trial I should get an extra 40 stores to manage for three weeks. Then when the team member goes on her Career break, I could possibly take them over and manage them for those 6-8 months. 

What a time to be alive. 

Dear Diary

My friday was so long. I thought the day wouldn't end. I've worked a lot today already and still needing to end some tasks. Please save me!

Dear Diary, 

I slept almost 10 hours last night. This is not normal. I suspect I am coming down with a sickness. Oo. Ah. ah. ah. ah. 

Love, 

Me. 

Dear Diary

I've had the worst weekend ever, when I cannot get any peace and quiet from my family. I'm so bloody tired of this life  and me working myself into hell and what for so that I get robbed blind  every week. I'm loosing my mind as I also suffer from depression and anxiety 

Dear diary,

I don't know what's so dear about you, and I don't know why people do diaries. I thought I'd give it a shot though.

Today, I saw a head on collision happen in front of me. Thankfully, no one was hurt but the crash was terrible. Apparently, someone thought they were in England or something and they drove in the opposite lane.

That was dumb. But again, no injuries so it's all good.

Dear Diary, 

We are on day 5 of less than 4 hours of sleep a night. I am fairly certain this is how I will die. As a prepetually exhausted grump, setting fire to building around me to express my displeasure. 

Also I've been playing a lot of fishing games. I would like to be doing that instead of working right now. 

Snoozes, 

me

Dear diary,

today has been pretty good. Life has been treating me well despite the many obstacles. But that is life. I'm very proud of the person I'm becoming. I hope to keep it going. God knows I've been through hell.