Dear Diary,

I lost my hustle for the third time in the past thirty days. That's really sad, but otherwise I'm doing just fine. I found a bottle of old ketchup that I forgot to put in the fridge and I opened once, but I think its still good? Ketchup doesn't go bad, right? I'll let you know how it goes next time, Diary. 

Evasive said to elusive don't be vague.  The proof is in the Puddin', tastes like strawberry wine.

Dear diary,

I really crave cheese cake, I might see if I can find some tomorrow. Except from that I don't really got anything of note to say, but it sure would be nice if tomorrow was a good day.

Dear Diary

What a slow day. We're finally starting the rainy season and the weather was rainy and cold. I did nothing the whole morning and was scared my boss would say something to me, after lunch found out that he was also doing nothing so we can't really tell on each other now haha.

Hopefully, the night is also cold and quiet, God knows I need some good sleep.

Dear Diary, 

I would like to go back in time to the Jen who was like "We're gonna start waking up at 6am!" and punch her right in her dumb fucking face. What a stupid fucking idea that was. 

Love me

Dear Diary

please give me the motivation to get my fat arse off my sofa and go for a nice, long walk.

also, can you send someone to cook me nice things please?

Another day another diary entry that Uncle gets to read out back to me in a white girl voice. I am hungover this morning, needing to pack and do a shitton of work before a flight. I’m on leave but capitalists do keep on capitalising and my boss is still making me work on the beach… lame.

Dear Diary.

5 days off and back to work tomorrow.

I am so not looking forward to this :(   

But those damn bills aren't gonna pay themselves, unfortunately. 

Bed early I supposed.

Dear Diary, 

This morning I was woken up by a man throwing up in our parking lot. Just another reason for me to hate soccer, really. What a truly terrible way to wake up. 

Love, 

Me

Dear Diary

i'm rather hungover having celebrated England getting to the euro finals last night.

I'm old and should know better yet i worry i will never change.  I really don't want to change either.

make me breakfast please.

Dear Diary, today I woke up with the biggest headache. I think after not sleeping for so long and finally passing out that I slept too much. I’m still tired and my chest hurts from coughing and Tylenol hasn’t really helped so I’m probably going to get some NyQuil and sleep more as soon as I can. I’m also starving but too tired and ill to cook. Dying. I am dying. 

Hello

Woke up today and it's raining. It rained yesterday and the it rained the day before that. It will probably rain tomorrow too. Rain rain go away. I hate you.

Good-bye

Dear Diary,

It had been a busy few days for me, with some laughs along the way.

It is surprising how many change their tune when the shoe is on the other foot. Happy to shoot people but boy do the little boys cry when it happens to them!

All in all, it's a game and people can now take some well-earned rest. No matter the sides they're on!

Stay smiling.

Dear diary,

Summer has my sleep pattern all over the place, why can't you be more like winter?  At least it's easier to sleep then.